Sobriety & Mindful Drinking Coach Martha Wright’s Tips For Attending a Wedding Alcohol-Free
When I was first attempting to rein in a decades-long daily wine habit, I recognized that if I wanted to get to a place where I could honestly take it or leave it, then I would have to understand what I was using alcohol for in the first place and relearn how to do those things without the buzz. When the first wedding invitation popped up (in New Orleans, no less!) I decided it was too good of an opportunity for gathering data to pass up! I got excited (and nervous) about the idea of taking one big night to explore celebrating sans booze.
So, you've RSVP'd to a wedding and you're thinking, "Maybe I'll skip the champagne and keep my clarity instead." First off—amazing. Brave. Iconic. Here's how to survive (and even thrive!) at a wedding without the booze but with all your sparkle intact.
🥂 Celebrate Your Choice
Choosing to attend a wedding sober in a world that treats alcohol like it’s fairy dust? That’s some big-main-character-energy stuff right there. You’re already winning. Savor that rebellious streak.
🧠 Get Curious
Approach this wedding like a social experiment (but with better shoes). Will it be magical? Meh? Surprisingly moving? Stay curious—not judgmental—and know that “just okay” is more than okay. You're collecting data, not chasing perfection.
💯 Ask A Different Question
Our brains tend to veer straight into what we’ll miss out on. FOMO. But consider what you might have access to that the drinkers won’t. One client said to her spouse and friends the day after a wedding, “That was so fun that the bride and groom left the reception on a speedboat.” Blank stares. They had all missed that whole detail, because they had been ten-people deep around the bar, like moths to the flame.
🎯 Make One Firm Decision
A maybe is a yes and making lots of micro-decisions and negotiations is exhausting. Free up brain space for better things by making one firm decision. You can always drink another day if you want. Tonight is for new neural pathways and fresh dance moves.
🔍 Plan Ahead Like a Pro
Check with the couple or venue: Will there be non-alcoholic (NA) options? If not, ask if you can bring your fave alcohol-free beverage or have a go-to order ready—“sparkling water with cranberry and lime,” “soda and bitters,” or just “something that looks like a cocktail so I don’t have to explain myself all night.” Enlist the bartender as your ally saying something like, “I’m not drinking at the moment. What’s something super fancy or fun that you can make for me?”
🗣 What to Say When They Offer You a Drink
“Thanks! I’m parched—water would be awesome.”
Most people just want to be polite and fulfill their social hosting duty. Glass in hand? Mission accomplished.
🙊 What to Say When They Ask Why You’re Not Drinking
Say as much or as little as you want. “I’m taking a break,” “I can stay out later and dance longer when I don’t drink,” “I sleep better without it,” or even just a smile and a subject change. Pro tip: Use “I” statements—they keep it about you, not a commentary on them. Also: confidence is contagious.
🧴 Pre-Game Like a Wellness Guru
Hydrate. Snack. Repeat. Good fats and protein during the day help keep your blood sugar stable (and curb alcohol cravings). You’re not “missing out”—you’re preparing like an athlete for peak performance on the dance floor.
🍇 Contribute Something
Is it a whole weekend affair? Bring an awesome non-alcoholic drink to share or a dessert that steals the show. Write a rhyming romantic roast about the couple (AI can help!). Take and post photos, tagging new friends. Contributing something to the party reminds you that you’re not just avoiding something—you’re adding to the vibe.
🧘♀️ Visualize Like a Champion
Picture yourself there—clear-headed, engaged, laughing, looking fabulous, holding your drink of choice (and remembering everything you said the next day). Who’s the wedding really about? How do you want to show up for that couple and their family? Lead with that.
😬 Expect a Few Seconds of Awkward
They might pass the Champagne for a toast. Someone might ask you twice why you're not drinking. It could feel weird—for like 12 seconds. But weigh that against a hangover, regrets, anxiety, or a night that spirals. You’ve got this. And don’t judge too quickly. At my first wedding alcohol-free, it was going well but I had a moment of watching a friend dance and wondered if she was having more fun. Let it all play out. Later that night, she was in tears. And the next morning? She didn’t even get out of bed until 3 pm.
🎯 Play a Game
Set a mini mission: Compliment the best-dressed guest. Learn one person’s life story. Find the best snack. Make it fun.
👋 Slip Out The Back, Jack
Permission to leave early: granted. No one’s checking your timestamp. Weddings are marathons, not sprints. If you’re over it, slip out guilt-free.
🍦 Reward Yourself
Everyone else had their dopamine hit at the bar. You did something radically, rebelliously cool and deserve a fat reward — that doesn’t mess with your sleep. Favorite show, fancy dessert, a cozy bath.
✍️ Debrief Like a Boss
Later that night or the next morning, take stock:
- What surprised you?
- What did you love? What was “meh”?
- How did you feel during/after?
- What would you do the same or differently next time?
Your brain learns from review, not just action. And you’re building a new blueprint for how you party.
🎉 Celebrate Again!
You did it. You attended a wedding sober. You were present, intentional, and likely more observant than most guests. You’re creating a whole new story—and that’s something to raise a glass (of sparkling water) to.
Martha Wright is a New Orleans-born, wine industry veteran turned certified sobriety/mindful drinking coach. Want more tips like this? Check out her work at Clear Power Coaching, where she helps people rewind habits that no longer serve them and embrace a life that’s juicy, not dry. If you want to “train” now for a blissful alcohol-free wedding season check out her 30-day program, Luscious 30. Use code NOLOW and it’s just $99 (normally $199).